One Friend can make a difference

It's been two months since my last post! I'm improving and gaining strength every day.
Alot of that has to be credited to two things: a friend coming to stay the winter with me, and the other is the passing of my father/abuser in early November.

October was a month of doctor visits, short term disability checks and weighing my options on what to do regarding pursuing long term disability. My T and I filled out the paperwork for extending short term disability into November. In mid-October I got word that my father was in the hospital again due to severe diabetes and scheduled to have his other leg amputated above his knee. At the end of October I got word that my mother had decided that she no longer wanted to live with my dad and they were pursuing separate housing for the two of them. It was news I had been waiting 23 years to hear and so made plans to journey across the country to see my mother, and to make a brief visit to my father in the rehab center.

November was the month a good friend of mine had scheduled to drive across the country to spend the winter with me. She had a second driver all lined up, but the driver bailed on her at the last minute. So I arranged to be her second driver. My plans were to fly up to see my parents, and then drive back down to my home with my friend. My father died at the rehab center three days after I bought the ticket, five days before the flight. I couldn't get to the funeral home to see him before cremation but my family did schedule the memorial service for the timeframe when I was already scheduled to be there. While it may seem disrespectful to say, it seemed everyone in the family was relieved that my father had died, even my mother, though she was also sad. After all, she had been with him 56 years.

Despite the long time separation between siblings and myself, I didn't feel much tension. Everyone cooperated to get the memorial service planned and completed. No one fought. We used technology to communicate, texting, emailing, and using Facebook to stay on task. We put up a memorial page. We had a powerpoint presentation of photos with music for the memorial service. We digitally recorded the memorial service and sent it to out of state relatives who couldn't make it to the service. Each sibling took a task to get the service formed and done. I am proud that we could do all that without the drama or strife more characteristic of extended family events. And it was all done in a week's time.

I drove back home in my friend's car. A four day road trip was a nice break. The only negative of the trip was getting a speeding ticket three miles from home. $172 for 13 miles over the speed limit just coming off the highway. After I got home and found that my short term disablity didn't get extended into November, the amount of the ticket was very painful indeed! I also received notice of Trustee sale of my home after I returned home. The foreclosure is a relief, actually. Its time to make some life changes. Being relieved of the burden of a high mortage that I cannot afford and a property that needs repairs I cannot afford will be a blessing!

So now it is December. I am reducing the amount of meds I take to save money but also because my spirits are better now that my friend is here and the tie to Dad has been eternally broken. I have decided not to pursue long term disability- will try to get a part time job instead because I do need some social interaction and to feel productive again. I have only a few more weeks to go before the timeframe for filing an EEOC claim expires. The trustee sale is in February. My mortage broker neighbor has told me about relocation funds for people going through foreclosure. Things are not all dire. Despite all the stressors landing on me this fall, not even all of them together are as bad as what I felt daily when working a shift at my employer.

As it stands today, strange as it sounds, I feel really blessed!