Day 3 followup - possibly triggering

Day 3 turned out to be a triggering day. I did not do the herbs as I planned. Today is another day for that!

The triggering was caused, I belive, by the chemical balance in my body. In mid-afternoon I drank two glasses of my homemade Master Cleanse lemonade back to back. Twenty minutes after finishing it I go all shifty and stall a bit (half trance but not quite there.) Two separate parts of me are present. The higher host who knows all my history and can rationally explain all the things that have happened to me and their various effects on my system. The other is a 12ish me in the throws of an abusive event, who sees and knows what is happening but refuses to accept its meaning and the betrayal feelings attached. Host me tries to infuse some of the current info to 12ish me but she's not accepting. Host me tells myself that its an opportune time to finally release this stuff, but 12ish me isn't cooperating. This dips in and out while I assist customers and talk to co-workers. My whole health state feels quickly deteriorating and the erge to either vomit or have a seizure propels me to negotiate to leave work early and just go home. Which I did.

When I got home I had neither seizure nor nausea. I just crawled into bed and slept. Host me said that is not the way to work through this stuff. The rest of me says, "whatever."

I woke up three hours later and decided that perhaps some apple sauce and instant mashed potatoes would be ok, and so ate some. Tuesday will be back on track with the cleanse only diet.